Real Love vs. Illusion: Rediscovering What Love Truly Is In a world filled with emotional manipulation, quick hookups, broken homes, and fairy tale expectations, the true meaning of love has been lost. What many call "love" today is often a mixture of lust, obsession, dependency, or convenience. Society has glamorized shallow emotional connections while shaming commitment, patience, and sacrifice—the very elements that define real love. The result? Confused relationships, toxic marriages, and people calling dysfunction “normal.” So let’s be clear: Love is not just what you feel; it’s what you do, what you sacrifice, and what you choose —even when it’s uncomfortable. Illusions People Mistake for Love Lust mistaken for love : If you remove sex from the equation, many "relationships" fall apart. That wasn’t love. That was eros without agape. Trauma bonding : Some believe surviving toxic cycles together is love. It's not—it's codependency. Control : “If you love me, you’ll do this…” That’s manipulation, not love. Unquestioned loyalty : Loyalty is powerful, but loyalty to abuse, disrespect, or being used is not love—it’s self-destruction. Obsession and jealousy : These emotions may feel intense, but they suffocate, not protect. Real love gives room to breathe. The Four Types of Love the Bible Teaches 1. Agape – Unconditional, Selfless Love God’s love for us. Never dependent on how “good” we are. Shown through Christ dying for sinners (Romans 5:8). This is the love we are called to give even to those who don't deserve it. Without agape, all other forms of love collapse. It is the glue of covenant, not convenience. 2. Phileo – Brotherly Love / Deep Friendship Loyalty, warmth, shared values. Think of David and Jonathan’s friendship or Jesus and His disciples. It builds community and strengthens bonds. It's more than surface socializing; it's soul-connected companionship. 3. Storge – Familial Love The natural affection between parent and child or siblings. Protective, enduring, and deep-rooted. But it must be maintained with boundaries and truth, not blind idolization. When storge is missing or corrupted, homes fall into chaos. 4. Eros – Romantic, Passionate Love God designed this for marriage. It includes attraction and desire, but it's meant to be wrapped in agape. Eros without commitment leads to addiction, betrayal, and heartbreak. Sadly, many only know this kind of love and confuse it with the real thing. Real Love Has Structure. Fake Love Is a Fantasy. Most people are chasing a feeling rather than building a foundation. That’s why relationships collapse at the first test. Real love: Holds you accountable. Tells you the truth even when it hurts. Endures in silence and celebrates in joy. Doesn’t always feel romantic—but is always present. Meanwhile, fake love: Feels great in the beginning and empty in the end. Demands benefits without responsibilities. Crumbles when it’s time to grow. Stop Settling for an Illusion If someone says they love you but they: Can’t sacrifice anything for you Won’t correct or challenge you Only want you for what you give them Use the word “love” to guilt you or manipulate you... That is not love. That’s bondage. True Love Begins With God God is the source of love—not Hollywood, not your past, not your emotions. And to love rightly, you must know what He defines as love —and what He never meant for you to carry. If you’ve been hurt, misled, or lost in a false version of love, don’t give up. Return to the One who created love and let Him reshape your understanding. “Love is patient, love is kind… It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” —1 Corinthians 13:4 At TD Goodman Books , we don’t just talk about life. We dissect it with truth. Whether it’s spiritual growth, healing from trauma, or reclaiming your value, our books and content are here to help you cut through the noise and get to the truth. Ready to stop chasing illusions and experience real love? It begins with knowing God and learning what love was always meant to be.

Parent First, Friend Never: How Modern Parenting Is Creating a Society of Entitlement and No Accountability By TD Goodman Books Let’s make this clear: You were never meant to be your child’s best friend. You were meant to be their parent , their guide, their disciplinarian, their protector, and their builder. We live in a time where too many parents have swapped roles—trying to be "cool," "liked," or seen as "one of the gang." But the cost? A generation of children who are: Ungrateful , Spoiled , Disrespectful , and Detached from consequences . And when those kids become adults, we get what we’re seeing now: a broken society full of people who believe they’re never wrong , believe rules are suggestions, and think everyone else is to blame. Being Their Parent Is Not Being Their Enemy—It’s Being What They Need Most Children don’t need you to be their buddy. They need structure. They need correction. They need someone to tell them "no" when the world keeps telling them "yes." The job of a parent is to prepare a child for the real world , not protect them from it by padding them in emotional lies and overindulgence. When you give your child everything without requiring responsibility, you raise a tyrant. Not a leader. Not a respectful citizen. A narcissist in training . The Dangers of Friend-Parenting Here’s what happens when you choose to be their friend instead of their parent: 1. They become entitled. They expect rewards without effort, praise without performance, and protection from every mistake—because that’s what "friends" do. But real life doesn’t work that way. 2. They stop respecting authority. When you blur the lines, they don’t know where authority begins or ends. Teachers, bosses, law enforcement—suddenly everyone becomes an enemy when they’re corrected. 3. You start believing your child can do no wrong. This is the most dangerous delusion. Parents become blind advocates instead of honest evaluators. You defend them even when they’re wrong, and you excuse behavior that should’ve been corrected years ago. 4. They don’t know how to handle discipline. When they finally face real-world consequences—losing a job, failing school, being arrested—they’re emotionally shattered. Why? Because their "friend" at home always shielded them from discomfort. 5. Society pays the price. This isn’t just a family issue—it’s a national one. Weak homes create weak citizens. No discipline at home means no regard for law, order, or responsibility in public. What Real Parenting Looks Like It looks like telling them “no.” It looks like enforcing consequences when they mess up. It looks like love wrapped in truth, not lies to make them feel good. It looks like creating boundaries, not trying to be “the cool mom” or “the chill dad.” Real parenting is tough love. It’s late nights, hard talks, and standing firm even when your child is mad at you. And guess what? That’s okay. They don’t need you to be liked right now. They need to be shaped into someone they can be proud of later. And when they become adults who know how to navigate life, they’ll come back and thank you—not for being their friend, but for being their rock. Let’s Rebuild the Standard If we want to fix this generation and the next, we need to go back to basics: Honor your role. Lead your home. Correct your child. Stop playing buddy. A child who is never corrected at home becomes a menace in the street. A child who’s never told “you’re wrong” becomes a broken adult who blames everyone else. And a parent who refuses to parent isn’t raising a leader—they’re raising a liability. TD Goodman Books stands for truth, accountability, and rebuilding families from the inside out. Want more on parenting, discipline, and building strength through structure? Check out: Off the Path: How to Get Your Life Off the Road of Failure Rising from the Ordinary: The Journey to Becoming Legendary Visit TDGoodmanBooks.com and follow us for more blogs like this. Parent like the world depends on it—because it does.

The 0.6% Who Served: The Truth About Civilian Cowardice, Excuses, and Disrespect Toward Veterans By TD Goodman Books Let’s speak plainly. In America, less than 0.6% of the population currently serves in the U.S. Armed Forces. That means the remaining 99.4% of civilians are living under the blanket of freedom and safety that they did not earn —yet too many act as if they did. Worse, they disrespect the warriors who stood the post, fought the battles, buried brothers and sisters, and came home changed forever. They post flags on Veterans Day. They say “thank you for your service.” But their actions tell the real story: They mock the uniform while enjoying the freedom it defends. They devalue veterans’ voices , then cry about their own rights. They make excuses for not serving , then complain about the benefits veterans fought for. And when it comes to minority veterans , the disrespect cuts deeper. Black and Brown Veterans Get Disrespected Twice Not only have we served this country with distinction, but we’ve also done so while enduring racism, white supremacy, and systemic injustice—from within the ranks and far beyond. We’ve stood post for people who wouldn’t stand next to us in a line. We’ve protected rights for people who voted against our humanity. We’ve died for a flag that still flies over injustice. And now, when we return home, they question our pain, diminish our sacrifice, and insult our intelligence with excuses for why they didn’t serve. Let’s expose those excuses for what they really are. Top Civilian Excuses for Not Serving in the Military (Also known as: The Coward’s Creed) “I was going to, but I hurt my knee in high school.” “I was going to join, but my girlfriend didn’t want me to leave.” “I was going to, but I got a good job offer.” “I was going to join the Marines, but I didn’t want to kill anyone.” “I almost joined, but I don’t like being told what to do.” “I tried, but I failed the ASVAB.” “I was going to, but they wanted to send me to war.” “I almost enlisted, but I didn’t like the idea of being away from home.” “I thought about joining, but the military is just a pawn for the government.” “I was going to, but I didn’t want to be brainwashed.” “I tried, but the recruiter never called me back.” “I would’ve joined, but I was focused on college.” “I wanted to, but I couldn’t leave my family.” “I have too much to live for.” “The military doesn’t care about its people, so I didn’t bother.” “I was ready, but I didn’t want to fight someone else’s war.” “I almost joined, but I don’t support war.” “I didn’t want to die.” “I support the troops, just not the military.” “I was going to join after high school, but life happened.” These are not reasons. These are cop-outs —often given by people who never intended to serve but now want the world to think they had courage. The Real Problem: Entitlement Without Sacrifice Civilians enjoy every privilege that veterans earned. And too many act like they’re owed even more. They expect: VA-level benefits without ever deploying. Military discounts without military service. A safe America while never protecting it. They disrespect veterans, especially minorities, while benefiting from the very courage they lacked . Then they cry about things like Stolen Valor, not realizing their silence, indifference, and excuses are just as fraudulent. What Veterans Want We don’t need fake praise. We need: Real respect. Proper healthcare and benefits. Acknowledgment of our full identity—including our culture, color, and sacrifice. Accountability for those who dishonor our service. We served. We showed up. We did what the majority wouldn’t. Now we demand what we’ve earned. At TD Goodman Books, We Tell the Uncomfortable Truth If this made you uncomfortable, good. If you feel exposed, maybe it’s time to check your actions. And if you served, this post is for you . You are the rare breed. The 0.6%. The defender of the delusional, the ungrateful, and even the ignorant. Keep standing tall. You don’t need validation from people who’d never wear the boots. You already did what they couldn’t—and wouldn’t. Veterans, reclaim your voice. Minority vets, demand your due. Civilians, either step up—or shut up. Read more truth at TDGoodmanBooks.com Recommended Reads: Rising from the Ordinary: The Journey to Becoming Legendary

The Anchor in the Storm: Finding Real Peace Through Faith in Christ By TD Goodman Books In a world that feels like it’s constantly shifting—where chaos dominates the headlines, betrayal can come from those closest to us, and worry sneaks into our thoughts at night— peace has become one of the rarest treasures to hold onto . But there’s a truth that remains unshaken through every storm, every battle, every heartbreak: Real peace doesn’t come from this world. It comes through Christ. Peace Isn’t the Absence of Trouble—It’s the Presence of God A lot of people think peace means everything is going well—no stress, no conflict, no loss. But that’s not real peace. That’s just calm weather. And life doesn’t always give us that luxury. True peace is what shows up in the middle of the storm—when your bills are due, your health is failing, your family is divided, and you still feel grounded. That kind of peace only comes from one place: a connection with the Prince of Peace Himself— Jesus Christ . “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” — John 14:27 (NIV) Faith Isn’t Just Belief—It’s Trust Believing in God is one thing. Trusting Him is another. Faith means handing over the things you can’t control, the outcomes you can’t predict, and the wounds you can’t heal— and still resting in the fact that He’s got it . When your faith is rooted in Christ, you stop trying to carry everything on your own. You stop needing to have every answer, prove every point, or win every battle. You learn to breathe… to wait… to let God lead. That’s where peace lives. Why You Can’t Fake Peace You can’t find peace in distractions. You won’t find it in possessions, relationships, or titles. And you definitely won’t find it in trying to please everyone around you. That kind of peace is temporary. It fades the moment things stop going your way. But when you’ve encountered Christ? When you’ve truly surrendered to Him? You begin to understand that peace isn’t a place you go—it’s a person you walk with . Peace Brings Power When you operate in peace, you operate in power. You stop reacting emotionally. You stop chasing validation. You stop allowing fear to make decisions for you. You become clear. Calm. Focused. People will wonder how you’re still standing. How you’re still smiling. How you didn’t lose your mind after everything you’ve been through. They won’t understand… Because they don’t know Who’s holding you together. How to Reconnect With Peace Through Christ If you’ve lost your peace, don’t beat yourself up. Life has a way of pulling us in a thousand directions. But peace is still available—right now. Here's how to tap back in: Pray —not out of duty, but from the heart. Be honest with God. Read the Word —remind your spirit of His promises. Worship —even when it hurts, praise shifts the atmosphere. Be still —silence is often where God speaks the loudest. Peace is a fruit of faith, not a feeling. And Christ is faithful to give it when you ask. At TD Goodman Books , we believe in strengthening the whole person—mind, body, and spirit. That includes helping you find spiritual clarity in a noisy world. We write for the warrior who’s tired, the leader who’s burdened, and the believer who’s hanging on by a thread. Because we’ve been there too. And we know— peace isn’t just possible. It’s promised. Recommended Reads for Spiritual Growth and Resilience: Rising from the Ordinary: The Journey to Becoming Legendary Off the Path: How to Get Your Life Off the Road of Failure Explore more at TDGoodmanBooks.com and reclaim your peace in Christ today.

Growth Isn’t Betrayal: Why Changing for the Better Means Letting Go of Toxic Family and People By TD Goodman Books Growth is a journey. One that requires not only courage and discipline—but also the painful decision to walk away from people who refuse to grow with you. Sometimes, the weight holding us back doesn’t come from strangers. It comes from the very people who share our blood, our history, our memories. Let’s be real: not everyone is meant to go where you’re going. And that includes family. The Truth About “Changing” Society has a way of shaming people who choose to evolve. They’ll say, “You’ve changed,” as if it’s an insult. But here’s the truth: if you’re not changing, you’re not growing . Growth demands change. It requires you to think differently, set new boundaries, and make decisions that align with your future, not your past. And when you start rising—when you start protecting your peace, valuing your time, and building something better—those who are committed to staying stagnant will feel uncomfortable. Don’t let that guilt trip stop your progress. Blood Isn’t a Free Pass to Poison Your Peace Just because someone is family doesn’t mean they’re healthy for you. In fact, toxic family members can be the hardest to detach from because of deep emotional ties and shared trauma. But trauma bonding is not love. Manipulation is not support. Gaslighting is not guidance. If someone constantly tears you down, mocks your growth, or makes you feel like you owe them access to your life simply because you share DNA—it’s okay to say no more. You don’t need to hate them. You don’t need to wish them harm. But you do need to protect yourself. You Can Love Them—From a Distance Walking away doesn’t always mean cutting off forever. Sometimes it means stepping back long enough to heal. You can still pray for people you no longer allow in your inner circle. You can still wish them well—while building your life without their drama, judgment, or chaos. Peace doesn’t always come from resolution. Sometimes it comes from release. How Do You Know It’s Time to Walk Away? Ask yourself: Do I feel drained or anxious after interacting with this person? Do they consistently disrespect my boundaries? Do they support my growth, or sabotage it? Is our relationship based on guilt and obligation—or mutual respect? If you keep answering “yes” to the wrong questions, it’s time to reevaluate who gets to walk this journey with you. A New Season Deserves a New Circle When you choose to grow, you’re not betraying your roots—you’re honoring your future. And the right people, the ones meant for you, will celebrate your growth, not fear it. At TD Goodman Books , we believe in equipping people with the truth—even when it’s uncomfortable. Because real freedom starts when you take control of your narrative, your healing, and your environment. Changing for the better doesn’t mean you’re fake. It means you’re done pretending that dysfunction is normal. So, keep growing. Keep evolving. And don’t apologize for becoming who God called you to be—even if it means walking away from the people who never saw your worth in the first place. Recommended Reads: Rising From the Ordinary: The Journey to Becoming Legendary Off the Path: How To Get Your Life Off The Road Of Failure Visit TDGoodmanBooks.com to learn more, shop our motivational reads, and start your transformation today.

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